Together, we will help you to find your(Self)
“Who looks outside dreams, who looks inside, awakes”
- Carl Jung, C. G. Jung Letters Vol. 1, pg. 33
Your Self has always been there. That is why you are searching for help now, because you know something has to change and you don’t want to keep living this way. You sense it can be different.
Even though you may feel hopeless or powerless, you have within you all of the tools you need to heal, you just need the right conditions to help you to find yourself.
Enduring childhood trauma causes our vital essence, who we are, our Self, to be suppressed and pushed into the depths, out of consciousness.
The truth is that your Self is still there. It is buried, hidden, nascent, either under-functioning or functioning in largely unconscious ways.
Because of this, you are not being who you are truly meant to be.
“It is the imperishable essence of the personality… that which Winnicott referred to as the ‘True Self’ and which Jung… called the Self”.
- Donald Kalsched, “The Inner World of Trauma”, pg. 3
This darkness, this disconnection from our Self, causes us to become overwhelmed with anxiety, fear, anger and despair of ever finding our way out.
Being unconscious and disconnected from one’s Self, is like being in the middle of a darkened, enshrouded forest where there is no obvious path.
We are lost and we don’t know how to find our Self or where to look. There are too many trees which make the path impenetrable.
Our psyche has become shrouded with dense overgrowth, gnarled trunks and thick mantles of leaves which cloud our view.
When this is created, this is the means by which we can follow your path towards who you have always been and who you are meant to be.
To heal we must create the conditions so that we may shine a light into the darkness and take the hidden path that will lead us forward.
The intention of my approach is to create the favorable conditions of empathic support, guidance and attunement.
I am more than a “blank-slate” therapist.
For your therapy to be successful, I believe it is essential for me to embody being…
Supportive ~ Reassuring ~ Approachable ~ Humorous ~ Good-natured ~ Empathetic ~
Non-judgmental ~ Focused on creating a safe space for self-expression
My style is
Warm, humorous and engaging ~ I also bring a deep curiosity about your experience, and I will check in with you to be sure that I am getting it right ~ I seek to be attuned to the specifics of your story, your feelings and your reactions.
With my help, you will learn to express yourself and release deeply held thoughts and feelings
which may scare you ~ It is extremely important to do this, because doing so allows you to make space for your Self, for growth and joy and positive feelings that have also been suppressed.
I will also be direct
I will also provide you with guidance ~ While I do not know exactly where your path will lead, I know the terrain ~ I rely on my skill with being insightful, resonant, experienced and informed. If I am concerned and sense that I must speak up, I will ~ I will provide my perspective and interpretation of concerning patterns that I see, when needed, so you will be more able to find your way and not get lost.
I have an understanding of the psyche
I have a strong understanding and intuitive sense, grounded in years of study, training and personal work ~ I am keenly aware as to how the psyche transfigures itself when we experience overwhelming emotion and pain ~ Because of this, I can help you to more clearly comprehend your inner world, so you may gain insight as to why you feel and react the way you do.
I have been there
Taking the journey down that darkened path, to uncover the depths of ourselves, takes immense bravery, endurance and ultimately compassion. Compassion for ourselves as difficult and distressing emotions surface.
Because I have walked my own path, I consider myself to be singularly sensitive ~ related ~ considerate ~ kind ~ and attentive to your every step.
The path is not easy
I know how challenging it is to do something which sounds so simple as to express your feelings, but it’s not ~ You can come up against intense shame, resistance in your body and mind and you may not be able to say what you so desperately want to you say.
I know what it takes to attempt to overcome this resistance and to share what you are thinking and feeling when it seems impossible ~ I can help you to slow things down and create a sense of safety, so you can finally relieve yourself of the pain you may have carried for many years.
Healing begins with taking the first step
What does the path look like in therapy and where does it lead?
While everyone’s path is unique, there are general markers we will follow along the way.
Telling me about yourself and your story as we get to know each other.
Sharing what you think I should know to best understand you, and how I can best support you.
Creating Safety
Developing resources in your inner and outer world
Building insight
Reducing Distress
Engaging with deeper patterns of feeling and relating.
Building awareness of the sensations that your are feeling in your body
Identifying your emotions and learning how to let them flow through you
Gaining deep insight into your psyche’s patterns so you can begin to shift
Letting go of old, protective ways of relating to the world and beginning anew
Emergence of your true Self in the world
Generalizing what you have learned to the greater world
Taking more risks
Expressing yourself with clarity and assertiveness
Greater compassion for yourself and others
Acting with a purpose and an intention that is aligned with your deep authenticity
What does “psychological health” actually mean?
Goals of therapy
Over the years, I have often considered what I believe to be the broad goals of therapy. What overall changes can someone create by going through this form of deep, self-exploraton? Below are some of the primary beneficial effects that I encourage for people who come to see me.
Greater consciousness
Greater self-reflectiveness
Reduced suffering
Making conscious choices in alignment with yourself
Some examples of
psychological health
Resilience in the face of stress
Optimism
High self-esteem
Confidence
Curiosity
Tolerance for human differences
A sense of belonging
The ability to self-disclose
Being assertive
Tolerance for ambiguity
Regulating difficult emotions
- Sue Johnson, “Attachment Theory in Practice”, pg. 10
A note about complex trauma and working with a trauma-informed clinician
I am a therapist who understands the unique conditions that are necessary to work with people who have experienced adverse and traumatic childhood experiences.
I consider myself to be a trauma-informed clinician. This means:
I am exceedingly sensitive to and aware of how an individual who has experienced childhood trauma may be affected throughout their lives.
There is a constant balance between expressing your experience and the need to feel safe and contained.
To recover from trauma there needs to be resources and comforts in the “real world” outside the therapy room to support managing the feelings that come up.
Understanding that trauma survivors may have doubts about the validity of their experience and may often have taken the blame for what happened to them. If they take the risk to recount their history, they may fear the therapist will do the same.